How to Allow Yourself to Feel

How to Allow Yourself to Feel Featured Image with Black Woman Smiling Drinking Tea

In life, we experience a range of emotions – from sadness to joy, disappointment, anger, elation, anxiety, fear, content, and countless others.

When we are in the midst of emotionally heavy situations – such as presidents who evoke evil, coworkers who stomp on our last nerves, illness, job loss or stress, it can be easy to try to “get over” your feelings so you can continue to function.

This might allow you to get a few more tasks done, or give you the energy to do what you need to do in the moment, but long term, this is detrimental to your emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health.

Holding emotions in causes illness, depression, numbness, explosiveness and deterioration of self.

You see, you and I are HUMAN. We were created with and to have, experience emotions. The key is to learn how to control your emotions, and not allow them to control you. The key is to use them for good – for growth, to change, to become. The key is to process them, so you may take appropriate action. The key is to feel them, get to know them and put them in their proper place.

So how do we feel without becoming our feelings? How do we feel without allowing our emotions to consume or debilitate us? How do we fall into our feelings without falling apart? How do we “go there” and pull ourselves back?

The first step to heal, is to feel. Through my experiences, therapy and love of writing, I have learned how to feel without wrecking my life, lol. I hope these tips work for you, and that you are able to lead and maintain a healthy emotional, spiritual and physical you.


  1. Get a journal, notebook or sketchbook, including writing, drawing or art tools.
  2. Sit in a quiet place. Close your eyes. Listen to your thoughts, feelings and inner voice.
  3. Take a deep breathe then speak, paint/draw or write each emotion that comes up. If you want to, you can add the reasons why you’re feeling what you do.
  4. Express your inner worries, concerns, doubts, happiness, etc. in short sentences, with words, drawings or symbols.
  5. Choose to let anything that does not serve your best interest or greatness go.
  6. Speak to your negative emotions with positive affirmations, truths, etc.
  7. Take a series of deep breaths, then pray about what you’ve found, meditate, take a walk, listen to music, or do whatever you need to do to replace your negative emotions with positivity and/or nurture your positive emotions.

*Tip: If you had a difficult time extracting your emotions, one place to look is your dreams. Suppressed, unacknowledged emotions, feelings, worries and desires often show up via our unconscious mind during sleep. Pay attention to your dreams and/or create a daily journal of them.

I hope these exercises have helped you to feel, acknowledge, release and experience, then absorb or release your emotions.

How do you feel? Were there emotions present that you didn’t realize you were holding?

Be loved. Love you. Be love.


*Photo Credit: CreateHER Stock

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