How to Keep Your Soul’s Peace by Saying No

How to Keep Your Souls Peace by Saying No Featured Image with Black Woman Flower in Hair Looking

Over the last few months, I’ve been crazy busy. From baby showers, a bridal shower and wedding, family events and building a business from the ground up, I’m exhausted!

As an introvert, I need moments to sit with myself, to reflect, relax, enjoy my own company, read, whatever it is that I want to do with myself.

It’s been difficult to get this time in, and it’s taking a toll on me.

When you’re busy taking care of everyone else without taking care of you first, you’re left with nothing to give to you, leaving you feeling empty, worn out and aggravated.

Have you been here before? Are you here now?

As I’m becoming the woman I was created to be, I’m learning that I have the tendency to be a people pleaser. I want people to like and love me, to not have anything negative to say about me, to always see me as the sweet, nice person that I am.

So in being a people pleaser, I tend to say “yes” without thinking about my energy level, what I need or what I want. I agree to please, and it doesn’t leave me in a happy place. It leaves me scrambling to fill my heart, soul and mind with what they need to thrive. I say “yes”, even when my soul is screaming “no” or “not right now”. This is not okay.

To fix this, I’m going to do my best to follow the advice my soul has given, which is below.

  1. Take your soul seriously. When you have a feeling in your heart, or hear a voice telling you to slow down, or say “no”, then listen. Even if you refuse to acknowledge what you need, your body and soul will always tell you the truth.
  2. “No” is enough. Telling someone “no” will not put a curse on their lives, nor should it crush their soul (unless they’re asking you to marry them, lol). You don’t need to explain why no is your answer unless you want to, and if you reason is that you don’t feel like it, then that is enough too.
  3. It’s okay to take care of yourself. You can only give others what you have to give. If all of your energy, passion, focus and love has been depleted, then you need to replenish them before you can gift them. Fill your heart, soul and mind with everything you hope to give others, and do it regularly, daily.
  4. You only need God’s approval. Your worth isn’t based on what you do or don’t do for others. People shouldn’t like you or be around you because of what you do for them. You don’t need their consent to be great, to take care of yourself, to be you. God is the only one you need to answer to when it comes to how you live your life, who you are and what you do. Focus on your Creator’s voice and guidance.

When it comes to what your friends, family or other loved ones need, it’s alright to help them, but not at the expense of yourself; not by ignoring your soul; not by seeking approval over confidence; not by avoiding your inner truth.

Do you find yourself trying to please others at all costs to yourself? How do you say “no” when it’s necessary?

Be loved. Love you. Be love.


*Photo Credit: CreateHER Stock

2 responses to “How to Keep Your Soul’s Peace by Saying No”

  1. I have a huge problem with saying no to people & it always leaves me feeling so ashamed later. I really have to learn how to say no.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I struggle with saying no as well, but over the last several months God has shown me the result of not saying no enough. I end up burned out, frustrated and fatigued, and this isn’t how God wants me, or us, to operate. Saying no makes room for what He has for us. We can’t fill all of our space and time with doing for others, and forget Him and His plan for us.

      Liked by 1 person

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